I've been meaning to update for some time now. Let's say for about a week. It's probably been longer but by this point I really am not sure how long it's been. Exhaustion. Deprived. Stressed. Busy. Chaotic. Pressure. You name any of the synonyms to these words, I'm probably feeling them.
Usually, I try to remain optimistic, but at a certain part of the semester, there comes a point where I just feel like I'm about to fall backwards and be knocked unconscious by the calendar that I try to keep up against the wall. I know I am lucky and blessed to be able to go to school, be able to work the two jobs that I have, and be involved with so many people and organizations but sometimes I need to have a soapbox for my first-world, middle-class problems.
I have four weeks of classes left and feel like I am not as prepared for any of them as I ought to be. Everyone will say, "Oh, don't worry. You'll do fine." No. Don't start that. Pity parties have been a forte of mine lately so let me have it out and I'll get back up in a bit.
1. Austen paper/Austen Final. Make sure I have a killer argument about the books that I have read since high school and used to get a 4 on the AP Lit test senior year. Should be okay. That is until I got an email from my professor asking me to change the premise of my paper because I need to remember what a Byronic hero is(a.k.a. Snape/Heathcliff).
2. English Test/Final/Memorization and Paper. Ugh. I just have to keep tabs on reading and making sure I do the memorization so I can memorize more stuff for extra credit. OK. I'll try not to hyperventilate.
3. Intermediate Writing Article. Another Ugh. This class is unstructured in the worst ways possible. I just can't connect with this class and want to do the work. It doesn't help that most of this work is working for outside of class interviews to finish the really only article I have to turn in. Yeah try fitting those into my work schedule.
4. Visual Communications Test/Multimedia Project. This class is the easiest of the lot. YAY! And I have an extra credit event that I hopefully can go to but I still have an A so were good for the time being.
5. History Tests/Final. Easy shmeesy. This class is pretty easy since the professor gives us exactly what is on the tests. I might as well have an A+ in this class as a given.
These are the classes while I am also working with both jobs that think it's fun to pull me in both extremes. When can I sleep? Then add some of the groups that I'm in and no wonder I've been craving chocolate like the cookie monster liking cookies.
I feel like I have a tendency to rant about my busy schedule that I make up myself. I know that I do. Don't worry. You can yell at me for it.
I know also that I like to stay busy. But having a down day is coming harder and harder to come by in the coming weeks. Having an hour to myself to just lay on my bed is a luxury. Hopefully I'll figure out something to manage the ridiculous amount of things I have to complete. :P